Thursday, March 20, 2014

And so it begins...

     I should have started posting years ago, back when it was hip and cool and everyone was doing it, but I really didn't have much to say. I tried to post, but the words would not come, the images were lame and they just didn't matter, now I find myself with free time and a laptop, well I have a few laptops but this spiffy Dell is the one for me, I hate, despise it, the mouse pad is strategically placed so that randomly as I type it decides to select my entire text and delete it, or move sentences to other places, sometimes words, very frustrating. If I had the gall I would write Micheal Dell, but he is busy trying to turn around his struggling business into another IBM, so I won't bother him. Well maybe, not it's not worth it.
  Well if you read about me you know I live in San Francisco, the Top Hat to the slimy underbelly that is the Silicon Valley, the place were anyone can become a billionaire if they copy the right idea and get the tweens to use their app for long enough to go public or maybe start a revolution with, we will get there but first some disclaimers. I write for myself and my loyal fan base, which is pretty small, my dog, my cat and my partner. I am pretty sure the dog can't read, the cat doesn't give a shit about what I have to say and my partner well, I don't know how they feel about it, they have a fancy degree and tends to be hyper critical of my run ons, sentence fragments, confused tense and random grouping of words so they will stay out of it.
   If you live in the City there are certain things you hate, everyone does, there is no denying it, some will say that love it, but unfortunately God give most everyone the power to speak and once you learn the language even idiots can speak up. Things people hate in the city, in no particular order... Traffic, Parking, Pedestrians, Bicycles, Public Transit, Private Transit, The BART,  Bums, Hobo's, Vagrants, Techies, Hippies, Streets, Parking Meters, Parking Garages, Rent, Rent Control, Land Lords, Tenants, The Internet, The interwebs, Elevators, Stairs, Weather, Dogs, Urine, Dating, Restaurants, The East Bay, The South Bay, The North Bay, The Silicon Valley, Homeless, Meter Maids, White People, Black People, Indian People, People from India, Hispanics, Canadians, Europeans, Asians, (Yes I know India is in Asia), Straight People, Gay People, Transsexual People, Gender Neutral, Cosplayers, The Bay Bridge, The Golden Gate Bride, Any Bridge, Wine Snobs, Food Snobs, Snob Snobs, Hollywood, Bollywood, Work, Not Working, Jobs, Lack of Jobs, Volunteering, People that don't Volunteer, I could go one but I am getting tired of debating on whether I should use "The" more and more or just leave it out, but as you see the list is long and it actually never stops growing, there is nothing in the city or the region or the area or whatever you want to call it that anyone will agree with, it's a cultural melting pot of the smartest stupid people and the stupidest smart people that never stops being tinkered with, too many cooks spoil the stew, but a city full of cooks, and well you have a pretty messed up stew, or a chowder, I do love a chowder. But with all that being said the people that live here are hell bent on changing the world, with free international phone calls, being able to send pictures of what you are eating, drinking, wearing, to everyone that doesn't care, snappy apps that allow you to find a place to sleep, find a sucker to give you a ride, find someone to spend the night with, play random games with or directions to that out of the way leather bar that has a "There not chaps unless they are assless" sign posted on the door. (For the record, I think all chaps are assless because if they weren't wouldn't they just be leather pants? ) But all the brain power is dedicated to making the world a better place, you know for the important stuff.  So this is my take on the City in which I live, hopefully you will find it entertaining, because as you know, once I post it, it's all true.


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